Pursuing FI, it’s easy to get SO wrapped up in thinking that money is everything, the be-all and end-all. But it’s really not.
I had some conversations over the past couple of weeks that have reminded me that.

The first conversation was with my Dad. For some background, my Dad is one of my favorite humans in the world. I value and respect his opinions so much. He had a very successful career and also somehow made time to be an amazing Dad. I am so lucky. He retired over 10 years ago, and at the end of his career he was making more than twice my current salary. It was actually my Dad who taught me years ago that as people progress in their career they can become completely out of touch with those “below” them, in terms of understanding what other peoples salaries are. Which is probably why, when my Dad asked me the other day what my current salary was, he responded: “That’s probably a bit low for your field, right?”

I was mildly offended. I’d just received a raise so the amount I told him was even 15% higher than it had been a few days before, I was feeling pretty good about it. I think that my Dad is just thinking that over 10 years ago, he was making twice what I was making – certainly I should be making a bit more by now. He’s a bit out of touch, and has already forgotten that his salary was far from normal or even attainable for most people.

It made me think – I probably could be making more money. But I don’t feel I need to in order to fund my current lifestyle, nor do I care to.

My current boss is my age. Actually I think she’s a few months younger than me. She is making 1.5x my salary, and (at the risk of sounding horribly arrogant), I think I actually have more work experience than her. I’m fairly certain if she ever left the company I could probably have her job (so arrogant). But I don’t think I want it. Which leads me to another conversation I had.

I’ve been asked to do more and more work outside my realm of expertise, experience and even enjoyment. For some background, the boss mentioned above is actually on long-term leave right now so her boss is now my direct boss for the time being, and I’ve taken on a ton of her work. I was talking to my new boss recently about how I was feeling. I warned him that my bandwidth is being stretched and it might be wise to bring someone in who has experience in this type of work. It’s not that I can’t do it, it’s that I don’t really have the time, and it will take some time for me to learn in order to do it well.
He was very understanding, but also reminded me that I will likely need that kind of experience if I want to advance to an Executive level some day.

I don’t want to.

The shitty thing is, when he made that comment, I agreed with him, but inside I was saying “I don’t want to be an Executive.” But to say that out loud might make me seem not “ambitious” enough, not a “grinder”, not a “team-player”, not “keen.”

The truth is, I don’t want the responsibilities that my boss has. When I was younger I always thought I wanted to climb to the top of the company. But as I worked in more companies I saw how stressed out most of those people at the top were, how little they saw their families, how little vacation they took and my ambition to climb the corporate ladder started to fade away. My boss has a small child at home, and yet I know that she works until midnight many nights. I can see files that she’s updated in the middle of the night and on weekends. She gets pulled into every goddamn meeting that exists (and it’s starting to happen to me now that she’s gone). I have no interest in that life.

I don’t NEED 1.5x my salary. At least that’s how I feel now, ask me again when I’m in the throes of home ownership.

Having those two conversations and taking the time to reflect on them actually brought me a sense of peace I haven’t really had in a while. I think even subconsciously I’ve still been trying or at least thinking I should be trying to climb the corporate ladder – whether for more money, respect, or just to make my Dad proud. It felt good to realize that perhaps I don’t want that any more, and that’s OK. I’m not ruling it out in the future, but I’m perfectly content at the place I’m at in my career right now.

If I can figure out how to make 1.5x my salary without taking on more responsibility, then sure, sign me up. But I haven’t figured out how to do that yet.

It should be OK to have a professional career and not be constantly striving to climb the ladder and make more, more more. There are greater things in life, like spending time with friends and family and pursuing hobbies and things that bring you real joy.

As much as I want to reach FI as soon as possible so that I can own my time again, I’m not pursuing it at all costs. I want to also enjoy my time on the way there.