We currently live about four hours away from where we both grew up and since we’re new to the area we don’t really have a social circle – which is great for our finances. While we’d love to have our friends closer to us it does mean that we aren’t going out to restaurants and events and spending as much money. In fact we’ve now lived here for 6 weeks – and have yet to dine-in at a restaurant.
Today was a perfect reminder of that. A good friend reached out as he was coming to our area for a quick two-day work trip. I was super excited to hang out and see him but also wanted to avoid spending money just to hang out with him. I suggested he come over and we could have drinks on our balcony. He responded that he was thinking dinner. I decided that would be fine as we really wanted to hang out with him, and we could share a meal anyways. We try to make meal-sharing a habit in restaurants – especially when traveling. I let our friend know that that would be great and we’d find somewhere in our neighbourhood to go. He responded that he was actually thinking maybe we could go to a winery and get a cheese plate, some wine and other good food. This request might sound extreme but we live in an area surrounded by wineries so it wasn’t all that bizarre.
I wanted to see my friend but knew I didn’t want to spend over $100 on a swanky dinner. I had that awkward pang in my stomach. I wanted to tell him I was too cheap and didn’t want to spend $$ at a winery dinner, but at the same time didn’t want to annoy him or ruin his evening if that’s what he really wanted to do. I think I took over an hour to respond but finally I sent a text that essentially said we’re just too cheap for that right now. I told him we’re temporarily-unemployed-early-retirees but that I don’t want to hold him back from having an enjoyable evening so we’d be happy to meet him before or after dinner for a drink.
He responded that he would rather see us and he’s happy to pick up some take-out and meet us at the beach or park for some drinks. He then added “Hey thanks for being honest about the budget. That’s hard to be straight up with people but I admire that. It’s exhausting in our neighborhood trying to keep up with people and eat out or go for drinks all the time. Got to close that stuff down.”
His response was such a relief. Of course he wouldn’t be bothered! I actually don’t think I have many friends that would be. In fact I actually think most of my friends are cheaper than me.
I’m so glad I didn’t chicken out and just told him that I’m cheap. While I’m sure we would have had a wonderful evening and a very nice dinner it would have left us at least $100 poorer. Instead we’re still going to have a relaxing evening on the beach and spend $0 as we’ll bring drinks we already have in our home.
It’s important to remember that hanging out with friends doesn’t always have to mean spending money. Step outside of your comfort zone and suggest something free the next time you meet up with friends. It’s refreshing to enjoy a night out with people knowing you’re not making a dent in your wallet.